We were awoken last night around 4 A.M. by a couple of cats who seemed to be going berserk. The were maow’ing and scampering about. I heard something bumping into the celing fan, and assumed it was a bug. You could barely see the shadow of something go zipping across the ceiling. I heard a faint chirping sound, and remember telling Kelly that I thought it was a big insect.
I was wrong.
I had gotten up to go get a towel* to catch what ever critter it was and I hear Kelly shouting and came running into the bathroom.
It was a bat.
And my wife was freaking out. That made me even more spooked. I stood barricaded in the bathroom trying to figure out what I was going to do about the little guy. The best I could think of was trap him in something. So I decided I would go for a hamper. I slowly cracked the door and slipped out. As I was closing the door I heard kelly say “be careful, he could have diseases.
At first I just saw the cats looking up rotating their heads as they tracked the critter. The light was still off, so I had to go pull the string on the fan. Which was a little freaky with a bat circling my head in the dark. Once I got it on I went downstairs to grab a hamper. I returned with my new bat capturing device and stood in the corner observing his flight pattern. Luckily he circled in a very predictable route and I was able to swoop the hamper over him and catch him on the floor. Unfortunately the hamper made a very poor cage for such a little mammal, and he was able to easily climb out. And promptly flew up and hid on the back of the closet door.
I actually felt bad for him when I had him trapped under the hamper, he mad the most pathetic little chirps.
Now that he was on the back of the closet door I had to figure out a way to NOT loose him in the closet. So I wound up hanging a towel between him and my clothes and proceeded to try an convince him to fly up into a bag I was holding over the top of the door. He didn’t like that idea at all, and opted to fly around the back and resume his previous route. At this point I thought it only prudent to close my closet door and return to my corner to watch and think.
First I discarded the hamper with it’s bat-sized holes and opted for a rubbermaid tub with no holes. OK, first problem solved. Now I was back to figuing out how to get him out of the house. Then it dawned on me, open the window. I even opened the top half of the window in the hopes he would simply fly right out.
Roy (as I have started calling my furry flying friend) didn’t think this was a good idea at all. However Henry did. He got all excited and made a bee-line for the very high very open window. I actually grabbed his tail as he was perched on the top of the slide down window and yanked him back in.
The only thing that would be worse than a bat in your room at o’dark’thirty would be looking for a black cat in the dark after he had fallen 2 stories to freedom.
I took the obvious course of action and grabbed the cat, ran over to the bathroom, opened the door and shoved him in. Of course to Kelly this appeared as if the door suddenly swung open and a small black animal was thrust at her. She did not have a look of calmness about her.
Now I it was just me and Roy and I had devised a plan I knew would work. I would take my old trust tub, tubby, and scoop Roy towards the window to the sweet night sky.
This was not as simple as I thought it would be, and resulted in spiking the little guy against the wall on my first attempt. Luckily he landed happily in the soft cat bed to gather his witts before resuming his aforementioned flight pattern. The second time I gently lofted him into the window’s glass. But on the third time we had a charming success. And sent him right out the window. At least I assumed that is what I did, I know I had him in the tub as I thrust it at the open window and was unable to find him afterwards. So I am guessing he is a really good hider or actually escaped.
If anyone talks to Kelly make sure to go with the latter.
With that done, it was about 5 AM, and I then had to make the rounds to make sure there were no more bats, or racoons (don’t ask) in the house. I also wanted to make sure the kids were not vampires yet.
Roy mid flightA towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta…wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat…wrap it around your head to ward off noxious fumes…any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it … win through, and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with. —Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy