And not in any sort of PG-13+ way either. Minds out of the gutter people!
1. Call while he is in a meeting where he can't answer the phone and you are home alone with the kids.
2. When he texts to ask what's up, reply with "There's a strange van in front of our house and it sounded like someone was trying to get in our door."
3. Trade a few texts back and forth about the situation, including one about the neighbor to be relied upon in your husband's absence being gone.
4. Figure out that it's in fact nothing and head out to the store as originally planned.
5. When you send the text saying it's all ok and you won't be home for a while, have your phone crash, ultimately not sending the critical text, but not until after you've put your phone away.
6. Go about your grocery shopping with no regard to either phone you carry with you – it's most helpful if your secondary phone is on silent.
7. Realize on the way home that your cell phone has crashed and is unresponsive. Still don't check the secondary phone since it is a holiday and that's a work phone.
8. While unloading the groceries field a call on the house phone from your husband who is now driving home to find out what's going on after 10 unanswered calls to your various phones.
9. Seem very surprised at his panic and explain that you sent a text informing him of the non-scariness of the situation.
10. In order to restore calm and assure him of the well being of his family drive out to meet him for lunch since it is not a holiday for him.
Somehow I don't think that @fuzzymonk finds this as amusing as I do! Guess I better make a nice dinner tonight or something to make up for the anxiety I caused.
– A guest post by Kelly